Category: JackAssery

Posted in DumbAssery, JackAssery, My Teacher Voice

What The WHAT?

Posted on by Pageflipme

Do you ever wonder why people aren’t communicating and can’t find real connections?

I used to, but I have figured out at least part of it and now I’ll tell you…..

Sometimes it’s because of made-up words and bad usage of real ones.

“Yeet” is not a word and “fire” is a noun, not an adjective.

And yes, that hurt just to type that.

The below was taken in abstract from my writer friend Kellie who, once she was able to unroll her eyes, quoted an actual post she saw somewhere:

“Mmz, I need somwhere I can take my bf too bcz mentily he there but physcly he aint. I been trying to fake my vibes wit him but no he just wanna lay back fr me to do the gettin.”

Yes, someone actually thought that.

Then typed it out.

Then posted it in public for people to see.

That hurt you too, didn’t it? I know it did.

Sorry, y’all.

I wouldn’t know how to help that girl, I don’t even understand her! I THINK I know what she meant, but I would have to spend a whole extra 3 minutes just interpreting that garbage, every time she spoke.

Do you know what is a better use of that 3 minutes? Literally almost anything else. Just ask her what that boyfriend could do with 3 extra ones.….

Wouldn’t you agree that anyone old enough to worry about an O with a boyfriend is old enough to use adverbs, pronouns, adjectives, prepositions, conjunctions, and contractions properly? Or at least old enough to use tools like spellcheck and maybe Grammarly or has at least heard of a dictionary, even in passing?

“Hello, my name is Paige and I WILL judge your intelligence and level of commitment to quality and excellence based on your terrible spelling and grammar and the fact that you were too lazy to even consider spellcheck.” And I am #notevensorry about it.

Am I really just telling my age, or does that kind of thing drive you crazy, too?

Posted in JackAssery, Random Bumble, The REAL

2020 = *

Posted on by Pageflipme

20/20 vision is a term used to express perfect clarity and sharpness of vision. Too bad no one wanted to see ANY of THIS

Please forgive the language (theirs, not mine).

Remember those New Year’s Resolutions or affirmations or whatever the h-e-double-l we were making when we were younger, and had more hope? We were just precious.

Should have taken my eyes out with a dull butter knife

I have purposely not complained or really even mentioned the pandemic or the presidential election in any public spaces. I have also respectfully declined most opportunities to discuss them when someone is attempting to provoke me. Why, you ask? For one, there are already WAY too many opinions being yelled at each other out there to add MY one more. For two, it’s all just too…..what’s the word…..depressing? Stressful? Anxiety-inducing?

Found it.

I still don’t have anything necessary or thought-provoking or profound to add, so I’ll just leave us with a few more images that seem to sum it all up:

  • 2020 is a southern male, and there WERE injuries
  • At first, introverts rejoiced – we like to “Stay the F*ck at Home”
  • Everybody else argued about it
  • Sometimes it was so insane, it was amusing
  • …and then it wasn’t
  • …and everyone hates each other
  • …and our options kind of suck
  • It’s just so ridiculous
  • Maybe I should run for President. But wait…..
  • Fun to think about, anyway!
  • …and now we’re all just like THIS

How are YOU coping with 2020?

Posted in JackAssery, My Accountant Voice

Just STOP IT

Posted on by Pageflipme

First of all, if this title does not make you think of a MadTV sketch with Bob Newhart:

  • Hold it right there, and go watch it HERE
  • Laugh yourself into hysterics
  • Think about all of the times you wanted to be THAT GUY
  • Then come back to me

You’re welcome.

Now, I have to pull out #MyAccountantVoice to rant about something that is guaranteed to make me eye roll, occasionally bang my head against my desk, and even think about causing bodily injury to people (when I’m hangry OR after the 5th repeat of this same kind of conversation in the same day):

When I am hired for my professional expertise, by someone who admits they have no idea what they’re doing and have already made a hideous mess…..and then proceeds to challenge/debate/straight up argue every single answer I have.

I do NOT understand this thought process at all.

Do you?

I think I really, REALLY need this shirt, too.

Let’s review:

  • They found me, certified and highly rated, while searching for an industry expert, so it should be obvious I know what I’m talking about.
  • They have hired me for this, it’s not like I am giving unsolicited advice.
  • Everything they already tried is not working AT ALL (and usually made things even worse).
  • Sometimes, the first few sentences in our exchange include “Now, I’m not an Accountant”…..and THIS is the one that causes questions…..

Then WHY are you pretending to be one? Why did you even apply for, much less accept that job?  Why are you trying to convince me that you don’t need to change anything when you literally just told me you need help and contacted ME for the same answers you’re debating now?

Would you appreciate me pretending to be your surgeon because I can take out a splinter, or your hairstylist because I can use scissors?

Would you appreciate me coming to YOUR office or salon or shop and telling YOU how to do YOUR job?

If you do any of that, stop it right now. Just STOP IT.

Your friend’s mom’s coworker’s niece who thinks “they know QuickBooks®” (because they figured out how to record a deposit or write a check) is not an Accountant. We have 4-year degrees for that, plus countless hours of continuing education and refresher training on GAAP and both state and federal tax laws (that change constantly) AND years of practical professional experience…………

So please STOP IT with THAT, too.

  • But please DO NOT do it yourself

Basically, I am saying THIS to whoever needs to hear it today:

Please consider your Accountant, Financial Strategist, ProAdvisor, or Tax Analyst the same way you would your surgeon, stylist, or mechanic (to name a few). Hire a knowledgeable, experienced professional you can trust for tasks that really need one, and THEN FOLLOW THEIR ADVICE. I promise you, it usually costs more to fix or clean up the mess made by a pretender than it does for the right person to do it right in the first place, whatever it is.

And then don’t be that person anymore.

Rant officially over.

Question for other professional service providers – how do you handle it gracefully when this happens to you?