Category: The REAL

Posted in The REAL

Throwback Thursday: Cheating

Posted on by Pageflipme

Originally posted as an FB Note – March 9, 2016

CHEATING, INTEGRITY, AND ETHICS

I have always done what I think works for me, and this is no exception……

I want to try something new.  I want to experiment.

I have decided to become a cheater.

RELAX!!!

I have just decided to try another program.

Now you know you knew better than that.

Since I am a person of integrity, I feel that it is unethical to promote one program and falsely attribute any successful results to it while secretly using (and achieving results) with another. So….. I am putting it out there!

You know that I love being a Team Beachbody Coach. I LOVE to promote healthier living and overall well-being in any/every way possible, even though Coaching is not a full-time career for me today. I also enjoy just being a member of Beachbody. I love the community support and accountability, the workout programs, and Shakeology specifically has helped me to improve my family’s health (and lives!) through better nutrition.

This decision is IN NO WAY a negative reflection on Beachbody! I am still a huge fan of the workout programs and many of the products. There will probably never come a day when Shakeology is not in my house, and a major part of our regular diet. I may decide to remain a Team Beachbody Coach indefinitely!

If you decide that you need help with Beachbody, then I will of course happily refer one of my friends or associates for you. I also have friends and family involved in other programs, so I can point the way with a referral in those cases, too.

As always, my relationships are still more important than commission checks.

I AM AN ENCOURAGER. I WANT YOU TO DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.

We all know that there are many different kinds of programs/products out there, each with its own strengths and weaknesses. One is better for rapid weight loss, while another is better for strength training and still another is for increased energy and mental focus. The success of one relies on dedication to exercise, while another relies on portion control and supplements, and still another relies on pre-packaged meals. What works for one person may not work for another. A person’s needs and motivations will change, and one coach can develop a different kind of relationship than another can.

I encourage YOU to BE AN ENCOURAGER, TOO!

When someone is improving themselves and doing it safely – DON’T SHAME THEIR METHOD. Don’t bash other programs, don’t shame other coaches/consultants, and don’t bash someone for finding what works for them.

I hope you are finding what works for you!

…..but if you’re NOT – what are you waiting for?!?

UPDATE: I DO still have Shakeology in my house! 02/20/2020

Posted in Random Bumble, The REAL

Disguised As ___, Part 1

Posted on by Pageflipme

First, Love

Before you get mad, please trust that I didn’t trick you with a click-bait title, and hang in there with me even if it takes me a few extra words. Hey, I already warned you I was wordy. There IS a point, I promise.

Have I ever lied to you before? Of course not.

Talking about romantic love is too icky for me and I am definitely not going there.

Y’all should have known better than that already, anyway.

If it helps, use another word or phrase you are more comfortable with – care, help, serve, minister, pay forward, show up…..

However, (and I’m sorry to break this to you, I hated breaking it to ME), all of those are ways we love others.

There is a best-selling book by author Gary Chapman called The 5 Love Languages® that talks about different ways people show up with love.  That title and way of describing them are cringe-y to me, but the information is solid, I promise.  I am going to mention a few of them for context – and if I get in trouble, just remember that I do it all for you…..

For years, my sweet husband has been sending a devotional or at least inspirational text every morning to a circle of people (that is still growing), and this looks like ‘Words of Affirmation’.

We recently found out that this is really a very necessary public service…..

He’s a big tough guy, too. That throat punch would probably kill somebody.

He also makes enough for an army when asked to cook or bake for events and gives it all away so that could look like ‘Receiving Gifts’.

  • Can’t we just eat the dough?
  • Of course we can.
    (He showed up with this as I was writing.)

He’s actually showing up with these AND his true love language, which is by performing ‘Acts of Service’. He’s extra too, doing two at once.

So, that went somewhere else…aaaannnnddd now I’m distracted…..ok, bringing it back now…….

My truest nature is that of an empowerer, and that is how I love others, but that can seem disguised as other things, too.  I have been told I was too direct, too demanding, too REAL, for expecting myself AND others to bring their best game to the table and show up for themselves and you know what?  Most of the time, we do!  That can happen during ‘Quality Time’ or ‘Words’ or ‘Acts’ but however they happen – aren’t those one of the greatest gifts, helping to create those “lightbulb moments”? I think so too, so that is what I do whenever I can.

We need to remember to look up once in a while. Just knowing that someone showed up for us is more important than how they do it, because sometimes it comes in disguise.

We also need to remember that no matter how smart we are or how much we think we know, we still get it wrong sometimes. The picture you see featured for this is really people showing up for each other after surviving a terrible ordeal, disguised as friends having a beer. All my love to y’all.

QUESTION(s): How do you love others? What is the most unexpected way someone showed up for you?

Posted in Grief, The REAL

Today’s Post Is Brought To You By The Letter C

Posted on by Pageflipme

Usually, when people mention the ‘C’, they are talking about cancer, but we are NOT talking about that right now.

I am not talking about the other c-word right now, either. I don’t say that one at all (other than the one time I did and it was totally deserved and I’m still #notevensorry about it, but that’s it, I swear).

So relax.

At our house, C is usually for cookie.  Or cocktails.  Or COOKIES AND COCKTAILS. My husband bakes AND shakes so we do our part around here to not appear ungrateful for those acts of service.

I am definitely not above using a cocktail to wash down a cookie.  I know, because I’ve seen me do it.

What C is NOT supposed to be for is crisis, chaos, and especially not for crying.  Unfortunately, we have had all of these at my house recently and every time it happened, they reminded me of why those last few are not welcome here.

I was also reminded to write about this, because it just keeps coming up…..

I AM NOT MUCH OF A CRIER.

I never was, even as a kid, but especially not by this point in life. I even have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to this, but for some reason, people are still confused.

(whew, missed it!)

While that is understandable, and a totally human response to handling stress and pain and I hope you feel free to do it whenever you need to – it also seems to me like it is the least productive way to deal with a sh!tty situation so it has never been my go-to response.

There is no instruction manual for the project of putting a shattered life back together after the wrongest wrong EVER. I am doing the best I can to cope. It is complicated, though. Some days are for caring for others and honoring commitments to my companies and serving my community while other days are only for crying and barely getting off of the couch, even just for coffee with friends.

You won’t hear about the days I know will hurt you too because you want to help me and you can’t, but I am NOT ashamed of ANY of those days.

I also know that there is no manual for loved ones trying to help. I get it.

Everyone seems to have differing advice on what healthy coping should look like and while that doesn’t surprise me (we’re all just winging it here), what DOES surprise me are these from people who should know better:

  • “You don’t have to be so strong all the time.”
  • “Its ok to ask for help if you need it.”
  • “You don’t have to pretend to be _______.”
  • “You really need to _________________.”

These make my inside voice comeback with things like:

Now, don’t y’all know I don’t know what else to be, since things still have to be handled even when I don’t feel like it?

Don’t you know that I have purposefully built as self-sufficient a life as possible, so that I can just want people and not need them?

That I don’t pretend anything, ever?

That if I need to do anything, it’s probably already done before anyone else thought of it?

Sigh.

I forgot how I originally wanted to close this, other than to say THANK YOU for caring about me, even when its not easy. I know you’re winging it, too. I have survived this far so there IS that, and I hope you never forget (because I don’t!) that so much of that is due to YOU.

Also – did you know that sharing is caring? Especially if you bring cake.

I appreciate you.

Posted in BadAssery, The REAL

My WHY (A Blog About The Blog)

Posted on by Pageflipme

Because I have NEVER liked being told what to do

(or think, or say, or pretty much anything else)

and never will.

I am sure there are people who will wonder “why blog”?

We already have immediate and constant connection by phone/text/email and countless social media networks……do we really need another ‘thing’ to keep up with?

That answer is an easy one. NO, we really do NOT.

So…..the answer(s) of WHY I decided to blog anyway are for 2 reasons:

  1. Friends get busy and tired and have their own stuff going on (most of my friends are bad@sses and are always involved in something) and don’t really need to hear my every thought right when I have them (that’s exhausting even for me), so calling/texting them is kind of forcing a way into their moments and causes pressure to respond when not everything requires a response
  2. Social media platforms have gotten entirely too nosey and waaaaaaaayyyy too controlling

But mainly the second one.

Now, I realize that we have to give something to get something.  That is actually one of the life lessons I believe in learning as early as possible.  Nothing is REALLY free.  Someone had to pay for it, even when we don’t see it with our eyes in that exact moment.  So the fact that all social media platforms are all free to use should tell us they are going to expect something out of it later.

If you really want to get in the know, or at least more informed, watch “The Creepy Line” or “The Great Hack” (both documentaries, both on Netflix as of the date of this writing).

We are all bothered by the security breaches and constant algorithm changes and how we are spied on to manipulate our spending habits.  What bothers me even more than the intrusion is the control they want to have over pretty much everything.

You probably know exactly which one I am talking about, too.

We choose our network of connections, we like certain topics of interest, we have the ability to report fakes and offensive content – but then the moderators decide to do whatever they want to do with this information, ignoring our feedback almost entirely.

Since when does AI get to decide which people’s conversations I think are most relevant – isn’t that what I did when I chose my network of people to begin with? Since when is it right that some nameless, faceless bots get to decide scammers and animal cruelty pics are allowed but a set of back office keyboard warriors will block a too-liberal or too-conservative poster after one of their harmless little memes, just because it differs from their own personal opinions? Since when does it make sense for a robo system to decide which of my content should be seen by which friends and in which order?

The answer to all of the above is the same and it is simple and it just sucks.

Since we agreed to use something that really belongs to someone else, and that someone else has a pretty selfish (and not-so-hidden anymore) agenda.

Because I believe in walking the talk, I am slowly transitioning to other ways to communicate online.  Things I might have posted on a social site before may just be moved to blogs and websites I control (within reason of course, the search engines can still do as they wish with us) and we can talk here in the comments or HERE and I can be found in a few other places too…..

So if you WANT to stay updated, follow the blog.

If you WANT to share here, be a guest blogger.

You know I live to serve and just want you to be happy.

Again – all because I have NEVER liked or even tolerated being told what to think, do, or say – and I don’t intend to start now. Not for as long as I can still do something about it!

Posted in Random Bumble, The REAL

1st Blog Post – Are You In?

Posted on by Pageflipme

Welcome to the jungle journey!

Have you ever heard the term “ride or die”?

I like to think I am that kind of person (and have been on more than one occasion), but then I have to get really honest with myself and admit that 9 times out of 10, I will need the answers to a few questions, first:

  • Why are we going somewhere?
  • Where are we going?
  • When are we leaving?
  • How long are we staying?
  • Do they have good food there? (I probably should have put this one first.  I’m not even kidding, we have planned entire weekend road trips around interesting places to eat.)

How about if I asked you to take a road trip with me? Would you have the same answer if I told you there was no set destination, no timeframe, no GPS?

We would OF COURSE have snacks.  I’m not completely unhinged.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said “life is a journey, not a destination”, and that is kind of what this blog is like – for you AND for me.  I usually write with intent, post with a purpose. Not this time.  I plan to just trust the process and not worry about the result.

Thanks for coming along with me!

I hope you enjoy the journey too – even if none of us know the destination.